Wake Me Up
by ZZbop
Summary: The race that will finally free them, or so they thought. Rin struggles with his emotions after growing up without a father, leaving his friends, and losing faith in his dream. He's trapped himself in this nightmare. Haru senses his strife, is even a cause of it himself. If only he could wake him up...
1. Chapter 1

**A song i would recommend if your that kind of reader. I was listening to it while writing this first half.**

**Mario M- Daydream (by 17tumba on Youtube)**

**Of course this is optional.**

* * *

I lost.

Red eyes stare frozen at the second place rank on the scoreboard. The crowd's wave of cheers are nothing but white-noise to his ears; a faint static sound registered only in the recesses of his consciousness.

All he really hears are two words. The weight of them sets in, trapping him in a void of despair.

_I lost._

Rin doesn't look to his competitor. He can only stare, slack jawed, at the number beside his name.

"Senpai!"

He blinks, shifting his gaze to the gray haired boy frantically running towards him. Praise from the crowd rings loud and clear in his ears as the world comes back into focus.

"Senpai, you really shouldn't stay so long in the pool," the boy says, thrusting a hand in his face.

Rin freezes a moment, realizing he's the only person left in the water, and takes the offered hand. His legs wobble as he's lifted from the pool. Without the boy's helping hand, this may not have gone unnoticed by onlookers. He curses himself inwardly for nearly allowing such a weakness to show.

When his feet touch the pavement, he composes himself, straightening his back and plastering a look of cold indifference on his face. People watch him in awe as he transforms into the image of a champion even after losing such a race, but they cannot see his image inside. They cannot see the way he breaks; pieces of him leaving with the droplets that fall off his body, splattering into watery fragments upon the ground.

Nitori gazes at him with wide blue eyes, also seemingly ignorant to his inner state. Rin raises an eyebrow and the boy loses his trance. He stutters the whole way to the locker rooms, still embarrassed by his obvious show of admiration.

While his teammate rambles on, Rin uses all the strength he has left not to crumble then and there. It's when the team comes across a four-way intersection in the building that he almost loses it. He can feel his presence before actually seeing him and on instinct raises his head.

There on the opposite side of the cross is the one who beat him; who _always_ beats him. He has his head turned to the side as he walks, observing the hall as if there were patterns on the walls that only he could see. The other team members laugh and jest just as they used to when he himself was apart of their trio. His absence shows no sign of ever fazing them, and it leaves an ache in his chest every time he thinks about it.

Their newest member turns red at a remark from the bouncing blonde beside him, sending the other teammates into fits of giggles, excluding the victor who simply smiles. Rin clenches his fist. It's a miracle the subject doesn't feel the heat of his glare.

_You don't deserve my place._

His eyes suddenly widen in horror. Is he jealous? He whips his head down, eyes boring into the squared tile floor as if the segmented cracks hid an answer. They continue to pass and Rin uses the last second to steal a final glance at the victor, only he finds the other is already staring at him.

He feels all control leave him in that moment.

Panic rises when his wall starts to fall apart. _I can't lose it yet. _

The moment passes after what feels like days, but in actuality was probably a mere few seconds. Both teams cross the hall and continue like normal to their assigned locker areas. After that, Rin tunes out, something he's been doing too often to be healthy, and the rest is a blur. He goes through his routine like a ghost, showering, dressing, hydrating… Eventually he slumps on a bench in the back corner of the locker room.

"Rin. We're leaving now, coming?"

Rin utilizes the fact that his face is directed towards the ground to quickly simulate his usual look of indifference. He straightens up and replies to his Captain with as much nonchalance as he can muster.

"Nah, I'll stay behind and hitch a ride with my sister. I think she wanted to hang out later or something."

Seijuro shrugs and turns after the team, slipping Rin a "Suit yourself," before shutting the door and leaving him alone.

He sits there a while in silence. His lip starts to tremble as his wall finally breaks down.

"Tch!" He slams a fist into his thigh and crumples to the ground, curling his hands into his hair and succumbing to the quiet sobs that now wrack his body.

_Damn you Haruka…_

* * *

_His eyes widen when they see the score. Something shifts then. He feels it; the weight of it is strong._

_This loss. _

_He watches the reel of emotions flash across his crimson eyes. He's seen this before; never wanted to cause such pain again. But it's too late. Something deeper sets behind those eyes, turning them a darker shade of red._

_This is about more than just a race isn't it, Rin?_

"Haru-chan!"

The reflection is cut short when Nagisa comes crashing into him. It's been made apparent no one ever taught the boy about personal space.

"Haru-chan, let's celebrate now. Everyone's ready to go!" The blonde hops around enthusiastically. Haruka wishes he could share in the happiness, but something in the back of his mind won't allow him that. He thought winning this race would lift something, some sort of burden, but it's as though it only worsened.

Nagisa takes his silence as an "okay" and drags him out of the building with the others. All the while, Haru replays his rival's emotions in his head. The loss of the race, the shock of seeing Rei fit in with the team, and finally when their eyes met for the first time that day, he saw something he couldn't decipher. _What was it?_

"Looks like Rin isn't leaving with his team."

Haru's again jarred out of his thoughts, only this time at the mention of Rin. He scans the group waiting for their bus. Rin's not with them.

Haru stops abruptly and the others turn to him with questioning looks.

"I forgot something," An obvious lie, he's aware, but it's all he could think of in the moment. Makoto looks slightly concerned, while the others seem more confused.

"What could you possibly have left?" Gou chimes.

He's quick to respond, although the lie is still quite bad. "My phone. I just need to fetch it, and I might stay later. I wanted to visit some of the swim shops and I'd… rather be alone."

He turns and jogs off to the front entrance before they have a chance to respond, leaving them completely dumbfounded by his blunt request. He's never been one to stumble over his words, but even this feels off.

Makoto's gaze suddenly softens, face forming a small smile.

"But you left your phone at home…"

* * *

**Hey Readers! Here's a new story i'v decided to start on a whim, ha. It's a bit more serious or dramatic take on a very happy-go-lucky-esque sort of anime. It will be short, only a handful of (equally as short) chapters or so. I do a thing where i imagine a bajillion different scenarios for an anime story. This was one i suppose. Anyway, hope someone enjoys it! **

**(Also, a trick to repeat Youtube vids for those of you who don't know and want to follow my song recommendations, just search the song on regular Youtube, click it, then type "repeat" before "youtube" in the search-bar.)**

**Feel free (haha, free...) to review or send me questions :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A song I would suggest for this chapter.**

**Home, by Gabrielle Aplin.**

**(optional)**

* * *

_"What's it like?"_

_"What's what like, Rin?"_

_"Swimming!"_

_"Ah! It's only the best thing in the world…"_

_"The bestest in the world?"_

_"But of course. There's nothing else like it."_

_"Woah…"_

_"I tell you what, Rinny. When I get back from my next trip, I'll teach you how to swim."_

_"Really?!"_

_"Sure thing. I'll make you the best swimmer in town!"_

_"Were you the best swimmer, Dad?"_

_"Ha, well, I sure liked to think I was. 'Was gonna be an Olympic swimmer…"_

_"Olim..pic… Did you become an Olimpic?"_

_"No, no. That's an old dream, kiddo. I became a fisherman, like I am now, so I could take care of two very precious people."_

_"But swimming is cooler…"_

_"Haha! That it is. But it will never compare to you and your sister. Remember that."_

* * *

_He quickly patters over to the source of the sound he'd heard from his bedroom. His mother is hunched over on the couch with a worn looking tissue balled in her hand._

_She looks so fragile._

_"Mom? Why are you crying?" Another sob shakes her form._

_"Rin, I- It's just—" She closes her eyes tight._

_"Don't worry, Mom. When Dad comes back you'll feel better. You can come swim with us when the storm goes away, ok?"_

_She opens her eyes then and stares at her son in shock. Fresh tears fall down her cheeks and she pulls the small boy to her, hugging him as though he'd float away if she let go._

_He feels the heavy sobs vibrate through her chest._

_"S-Sweetheart, Daddy isn't coming back."_

* * *

_Don't blow this, Rin. You're gonna start over, and you're gonna start over good. He takes a breath, "Hello, everyone. My name is Matsuoka Rin. I previously went to Sano Elementary School." He points to his name on the chalk board behind him. "I have a girly name, but I'm a boy. Looking forward to being in this class!" He bows._

_The class stares at him, surprised by his blatant yet enthusiastic attitude. He chuckles and flashes them a wide grin._

_I'm gonna start over good._

* * *

_Rin gives him a sideways glare as they walk side by side, still trying to figure out how to approach the subject in a way that will change the boy's mind._

_"Y'know Haru... you really are a wonderfull swimmer. You're such an inspiration to me, really! You're so-"_

_Haruka won't let the nonsense continue. "I know what you're doing, Rin. Schmoozing me up isn't going to make me swim with you." Rin groans at this._

_"Why the hell not!" Although he already knows the answer. He mouths the words as the other boys says them, in that same monotone voice, for what feels like the hundredth time._

_"I only swim free."_

_"It's just ONE relay! It won't kill you to swim with me! I just want to be like my-" He stops abruptly._

_"Rin?"_

_Before he has a chance to question, a gleeful screech sounds behind them. "HARUUU! RINNN!"_

_Both boys turn to the blonde now running in their direction. He tends to yell like that even if there's nothing to be excited about. Makoto trails behind with a soft smile, something he also tends to do for no particular reason. Rin uses the diversion to reel away from his current situation._

_"Can one of you get this loser to swim with me?" He laughs._

_Nagisa giggles and continues to cling to Haruka's arm while Makoto responds, "I don't think anything can sway Haru."_

_Rin turns to Haru, "One of these days, I'll change you're mind!" But he doesn't laugh with the others at the challenge directed towards him, only looks at his friend with concern._

_Rin's diversion didn't work, and as Makoto said, nothing can sway Haru._

* * *

_His heart breaks more with every push the words make as they sink further into him. His eyes get wet and he tries to blink the tears away, but some slip down his cheeks despite his efforts._

_"Sweetheart, I know this is hard." She reaches for his wrist but he jerks away._

_"Why? Mom, what about my friends? And Dad? Dad's here!" He's shouting now._

_His mother struggles to come up with answers, "You can make new friends, and kids swim there too so you can still do that. I-I just need to get away for a while, Rin."_

_"What about dad?" The words are barely audible._

_"Sweetie?"_

_He balls his hands, "What. About. Dad."_

_She stares at him, then blinks a few times as if recovering from a daze. Her tone gets stern._

_"Rin, that's enough. Your father would have wanted us to move on."_

_He tries to hold his icy gaze, but the battle's too much. His lip wobbles and his eyes well so much that his surroundings blur together. Even when his little shoulders start to shake, he tries so hard to stand tall, to look defiant._

_His mother pulls him into an embrace before he can object. "You don't need a wall in front of me. I know it's hard, but it's for the best. Please trust me."_

_The gates collapse and the floodwaters crash through. She whispers and pets his hair while he sobs, hands tangled in her shirt. He cries for leaving his home and his friends, but most of all, what it always comes down to in the end, he cries for his father._

* * *

_They did it. They won the relay together, all of them. Rin told them he was leaving and about his father. He'd convinced Haru to swim too. But he didn't want to leave them feeling worried, so he put on a good face, used wanting to be an olympic swimmer as an excuse for leaving. It was one of the best moments of his life so far, winning that race._

_It's been a few weeks since then. His mother packed everything up and they left staight away; no goodbyes. Australia's nice, but it's not the same._

_He joined the swim team at his school and it's a lot bigger than back at home. Being an Olympic swimmer really is his goal, he's decided, to live out his father's dream; make him proud. But even with that in mind, it's very, very hard. His friends are constantly on his mind. In all honesty, he's never felt so alone until now._

_He swims on a team, but it will never be his. It gives his motto less meaning, but he says it anyway, just to feel even a sliver of what he used to have._

_"For the team."_

* * *

**Hey Readers! Sorry for the wait. My computer died! Like, forever. But I got a new one and I wrote this as soon as I could. I hope it's worth the wait. Anyway, this chapter had a specific focus on Rin's past so that his point of view could be better understood. **

**Also a HUGE thanks to those who reviewed, followed, favorited, ect. It really does motivate me ^_^**

**Please continue showing support, and I hope you enjoy! ^3^**


End file.
